Soda Drinker Pro review

I believe everyone wants to be a professional at something, professional sports player, poker player, fighter, firefighter, etc. It feels good to be the best in your field, it’s even better when you’re being paid to do it. Soda Drinker Pro let’s you live out one of those dreams, the dream of being a professional…soda…drinker. Seriously, that’s it, drink a soda like a godamn professional.

Soda Drinker Pro is the next big thing in the FPS/Walking simulator indie genre. Grab your favorite soda and drink the shit out of it as you walk among beautiful beaches and parks, designed and drawn as if straight from the mind of a five year old. Pick up bonus soda and down your jug of sweetness to advance to the next level. Walking and sipping has never been so peaceful and serene.

I’m just shitting you, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, the game is so much more than that if, you happen to enter the house in the second level. After entering that unsuspecting beach house, Soda Drinker Pro takes on a whole new face of crazy, Vivian Clark.

Soda Drinker Pro becomes what I can only describe as the Dark Souls of indie games, an unrelenting mass of mini games with unknown objectives. Like being slapped in the face by a tweaker as he runs past you, Soda Drinker Pro never really slows down, it’s always on the move. There’s no directions, no known objectives, and a pause menu filled with frames, bonfires, a turtle with a periscope, and a person standing at a podium. I would say all of that is quite odd, but in Soda Drinker Pro’s dark twisted story, it’s quite normal.

I’m almost certain Soda Drinker Pro is an interpretation of what drinking soda can do to the body, a euphoric feeling, taste buds tingling, belly filling with fizz, and your brain sending all sorts of crazy ideas to every piece of your bodies specific makeup. Or it could just be crazy and really have absolutely no meaning whatsoever, which I’m ok with that too.

Soda Drinker Pro’s eclectic games are the living definition of trial and error, search and survival. I wasn’t joking about it’s similarities to Dark Souls, just because you happen to be an 8 legged jellyfish thing helping a yellow eye friend find his suitcase or a rotating arm holding a bow and arrow set to launch at bloated angel faces doesn’t mean you wont be stopping to rest at a bonfire as a blue sperm. This all happens in Soda Drinker Pro! I’m not kidding!

Soda Drinker Pro deserves the cult following games like Deadly Premonition, Black Knight Sword, and the like receive. Games not toted as being brilliant on the surface but hold a place in gaming history years later. I have a feeling if I spoke with a Snowrunner Production developer they would hint at Soda Drinker Pro’s much deeper meaning. Maybe there isn’t a “deeper” meaning, maybe they just wanted to make a really fucking weird and hilarious indie title. College classes have been created for lesser subjects.

Soda Drinker Pro is a ride I can only describe in pieces, something I want to describe in so much detail but would rather have someone experience. I’m continuously thinking about what I can do next time I play one of the random levels. Math the Band nails the soundtrack for Soda Drinker Pro, exceptional choice by Snowrunner as I can’t imagine anything else in its place.

Soda Drinker Pro permeates my brain, engulfs all of my thoughts, like a great tasting bottle of suds. Be a pro.